It’s difficult to laugh in the midst of suffering. But it’s these lighter moments that will keep you going.
Flying to Survive Cancer
On board a flight to Hawaii, the pilot announced, “That thump you heard was our last engine conking out. I’m really sorry to tell you this, but we are going to crash into the ocean.”
In the stunned silence that followed, an angry voice spoke out. “Dammit! That stupid doctor of mine! He said I was going to die of cancer.”
Copyright © 1998, Sydney Love
A Doctor’s Prognosis
Doctor: The tests show that your cancer is advanced. You have six months to live.
Patient: But, doc, I can’t pay off my medical bills in six months.
Doctor: In that case, you have six months more.
© Copyright 1999, Syd Love
How to make time pass slower!
Doctor to patient: I’m sorry to have to tell you, but you have a very rare cancer for which there are no treatments and I’m afraid that you only have six months to live.
Patient: What do you suggest I do?
Doctor: Move to Iowa and live with an economist.
Patient: And how will that make me live longer?
Doctor: It won’t. Six months will just seem longer.
Top 10 Ways to Know You are a Cancer Survivor
1. Your alarm clock goes off at 6 a.m. and you’re glad to hear it.
2. Your mother-in-law invites you to lunch and you just say NO.
3. You’re back in the family rotation to take out the garbage.
4. When you no longer have an urge to choke the person, who says, “all you need to beat cancer is the right attitude.”
5. When your dental floss runs out and you buy 1000 yards.
6. When you use your toothbrush to brush your teeth and not comb your hair.
7. You have a chance to buy additional life insurance but you buy a new convertible car instead.
8. Your doctor tells you to lose weight and do something about your cholesterol and you actually listen.
9. When your biggest annual celebration is again your birthday, and not the day you were diagnosed.
10. When you use your Visa card more than your hospital parking pass.
Got any knee-slappers of your own? Share them with us in the comments section!
This compilation has been put together by Imtina Khathing, a first year student of Mass Communications from Mt Carmel College, Bangalore.