Colon Cancer Limerick

Cancer can be deadly serious, but does it always need to be so? Here’s an irreverent limerick on colon cancer for you to enjoy. (And remember that a good ‘belly-laugh’ improves your immunity!)

I love my anus, I do –
It was the exit for all of my poo.
But the cancer has changed it,
And the Doc rearranged it,
Now my a**hole has nothing to do!

Your bowels are a wonderful thing,
To your body, a balance they bring.
But when things go awry
As they do, by and by,
To your Rosary beads you must cling!

My cancer is gone now, hooray!
It’s the start of a brand new day!
To eat now I’m able
But I poop through my navel,
And my rectum has gone M.I.A!

At a party, met a guy called “Stan.”
Touched his ostomy bag with his hand.
That’s when the bag burst,
But WAIT! it gets worse,
He was standing in front of a fan!

In my surgeon’s presence I bask,
But the follow ups are a task.
Each time that I go
He hurts me below.
Is a lollipop too much to ask?

If you ever have a colon bypass,
You might whistle by using your ass.
Your radiation and chemo
Make a helluva team-o
And your “high C” can now shatter glass!

Your colon you cannot bypass
And it ends way down at your ass.
If it hurts down below,
You must give a heave-ho:
It can’t tell a solid from gas.

It’s a rectal exam, have you heard?
Looking forward to it is absurd!
The pain’s a humdinger,
When he gives you the finger,
And I DON’T mean “flipping the bird!”

Source

Poems, philosophy and cancer 

Author

Compiled by Ananya Revanna, a student of Mount Carmel College, Bangalore.

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